White Blank Page
by Yufi867
Summary: It was months after a certain night in which both Jesse and Kurt regret, but they begin to question did they really? Jesse starts dating Rachel and Kurt has lost Blaine. Will love triumph over all in the end?
1. Detest

A panel of piano keys laid before him and all that he could focus on was what he'd plan to do this evening and if someone was watching him. After all, he was at McKinley more than usual now these days. So it wouldn't be a surprise if he was confused for a student of the sorts.

Brown curly locks was brushed back neatly, but now slowly straying away as he stared at the keys. His fingers trembling slightly before he began to play a slow song on the piano. Jesse St. James was not one for feelings, yet he displayed such fake ones on stage as if he had been through so much in real life when in reality...he hasn't.

To his surprise, there was someone outside of the door just watching him. How his shoulders would tense up and loosen along with the mood of the minor song. The way his curls fell back when he jerked his head back and smiled to himself as he sang a few words under his breath. Jesse St. James might've been a cocky bastard, but one thing was for sure, he had talent.

When Jesse looked up, his gaze darted toward the door to the back of him. A blurred figure quickly darting out of sight at the note of Jesse finally realizing how he wasn't exactly with company, but not alone at the same time. Getting up, Jesse swung a pack over his shoulder and began to head toward the door.

He needed to clear his mind of something that was bothering him for quite sometime now. Something that left his mouth dry and his head confused. A certain event and a certain someone that made his heart grow icy cold, and have the ache to forget about them. Jesse was relying on Rachel to make him forget. She was everything to him, anyway. Pretty, talented, and outgoing. Who didn't love that?

The halls were empty and it smelled of sharpened pencils, cleaning supplies, and plastic. Jesse's nose scrunched up for a moment to ignore the intake of scents before focusing on the hallway. He persued toward where the figure he thought was located, but if he wouldn't find that person then he'd might as well go straight back home to his own life. This wasn't some mystery novel anyway. So why was he searching?

Upon the short walk he took toward the entrance of the school, he heard a few notes being played from the comfort of the auditiorium. Jesse smirked to himself and pushed open the doors. Maybe it was Rachel who had been watching him and decided it be best to store out here as if she did nothing. To his surprise, he saw not Rachel, but the petite male tenor on stage with his gaze near the roof. A song pouring out from his vocal chords while the piano was being occupied by non-other than that piano man whose name slipped Jesse's mind.

Being an intense performer, he wasn't too impressed by Kurt's lack of movement. Although his voice was near astonishing, Jesse just smiled. He wouldn't let memories cloud his thoughts, he refused to. Kurt's eyes locked on to Jesse's for the quickest moment before he out stretched his hands as his note grew higher. His eyes shut closed and his fingers rolled into his pink palms. Jesse remained focused on everything that the smaller male did. From notes to gestures.

When the song finished, Kurt snapped out of his "broadway show-daze", and stared directly at Jesse with a critical look on his features. "St. James," he said, arms crossing over his chest as if ready to question his arrival.

"I, for one, am a big fan of classic show tunes," Jesse began as he walked up the stage after dropping off his bag. "But when you sing such a song as that, you need the passion that she bared, the bold exterior she had. Own the role, be the role," he advised with a soft grin.

Kurt's confused expression snapped to anger. His hand raising to point at the door. "Out, get out," he demanded. It was never going to be the same between them. Everything they had was crumbled and tossed out like Sunday's newspaper.

Jesse simply stared at this with amusement, nearing closer. He loved the way that Kurt seemed so strong, but deep down Kurt was just soft and broken. Tainted and shattered from the inside and slowly seeping out. His fingers trailed up to that hand and he tilted his head. "And if I don't?" he near challenged.

What they had was like the forbidden fruit. One night of lust. He was the reason why Kurt and Blaine started fighting and having trust issues with eachother. Jesse was the one mashing Kurt into putty within his hands. Not either spoke of what they had, in hopes that one day it would just fade away like everything else. Now Jesse was breaking Kurt all over again. His relationship with Rachel was almost making Kurt grow envious, because they had something he lost. Love. "Jesse St. James I said get out of here before I-.." his eyes dilated, staring at the darker hues. Rage swelling inside of him as well as depression.

"You?" Jesse quirked a brow, making Kurt's eyes begin to grow red. Why had Kurt been so stupid to give himself away to such a jerk like him? They hated eachother, so why was this game going on between them. Well- not game, but situation. Kurt didn't say anything else, he was afraid that if he did then he would break. What they had now was over and Kurt just had to realize this. The smaller turned on his heel and darted off stage, falling apart.

They both knew they loved eachother, but did nothing about it. Love had always been mistaken as hatred. That's how all bonds usually began.

Authors Note: Thanks in advance to the youtuber "MachineryOfNight" for inspiring me to begin this fanfic between the two fabulous males in this series. If you haven't seen the video that corresponds to this fanfic, then please do so! It will help you understand what will be going on in this plot.


	2. Rachel

The next day was near torture for a certain boy with the name of Kurt. He just didn't feel right after snapping at Jesse. That man was aggravating! Did no one else see it like he did? It was hard to focus in class and when the end of the day came for Glee club, he saw none other than the man that pricked his nerves like guitar strings. Jesse's hand was laced into Rachel's and Mr. Shue was explaining about the set list they had yet to even plan. Maybe it was because they always ended up getting sidetracked with a week long lesson.

Jesse smirked at Kurt and rose his hand. "As much as I enjoy your enthusiasm to win this year, might I suggest a song that everyone could put a passion into. Like a situation they've been in recently whether it was good or bad. It's important to actually feel a song before performing it, although when it comes to the show day you have no time for such things, but you'll rely on the experience to be your support and inspiration," he shrugged his shoulders. A few gestures of displeasure stirred through out of the room. Jesse could just taste the hatred and irritation he caused the other members in this group. He was a critic, he wouldn't help these people with his talent on stage. After all, he had his own performing to worry about.

Mr. Shue blinked twice, slowly nodding before clasping his hands together. "Well, guys we have a lesson for this week. A song to match your emotion, if you're lucky we may consider the songs into the set list."

A chuckle left Jesse as he gathered his belongings and stood up. Jesse tilted Rachel's chin up to press a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth, muttering something to her before walking towards the door. "No thanks intended for my help on the lesson, everyone. Have fun," a quick smile sprouted on Jesse's features before he disappeared from the door way.

Rachel bit her lip to supress a grin that ached to be shown from what Jesse had said. Kurt, on the other hand, was disgusted...but as always Glee club went on casually. Suggestions and the buzz of chatter from song to sing went amongst the group until everyone had left for the day. Kurt was the first to leave with Mercedes, he had no time for this. He wouldn't let his mind seek out what Jesse had said to Rachel in class. That evening was completely dedicated to him and his best friend.

Later that night was just another story, because now Jesse St. James had his hands upon the most talented girl that was in Glee club. His thoughts drowning out anything that related to Kurt. Lips brushing against slightly tanned skin, fingers lacing into fabric. Small distinct moans and actions filled the room. All Jesse could mutter as he gazed into her eyes was how he felt. The emotions swelling deep down in his heart. Or at least what he thought were true emotions. Although when he went to kiss her lips again, he felt something other than passion. A stir of confusion coursed through him and he simply shrugged it away. Skillful hands going over her body once more. This was their evening, no regrets. Nothing like Kurt. Nothing at all.

Author's Note: Sorry for such a short chapter guys! The drama will stir up real soon. I assure you! I'm just doing a bit of character building before we get deep down into the context of the true meaning.


	3. Admit It

The next few days dragged along slowly, leaving Jesse St. James quite baffled about his schedule. Besides practicing countless times on the same routine for the nearing competition. Jesse had time for Rachel, but never went around to her house for quite sometime since that settling confusion deep inside made him frustrated.

"Again!"

Jesse snapped from his reoccuring thoughts about these so-called "feelings" he bared for Rachel. His tongue darted across his bottom lip as he went back to center stage, his hands extended. The routine was harsh and needed to be done perfectly. The way each and every dance move should be displayed. Jesse was the one with the biggest job, being the star of the group. He had to be the one with little to no mess-ups and inspire the other members to do better. Performing arts at is greatest is what Jesse would always say.

The director shouted out a few more pointers from where she sat, her fingers drumming along the desk. "Jesse, you messed up," Shelby said in a near bitter tone. She was honestly disappointed in her star performer. Shelby actually came back to coach this glee club again since the last director was just pitiful and he didn't feel the passion toward them like she did.

But to Jesse, it was almost unbelievable to hear those words escape her. He messed up? He never messed up! The distant murmurs of the other members made Jesse's teeth clench. He felt like some fool, letting his thoughts get to him in mid-performance. What exactly was the source of it?

"Other than that, you may all leave. Jesse, I expect better from you next time!"

"Yes, of course."

Jesse grabbed his things and headed to the dressing rooms. Upon arrival, he nearly slammed his fist against the wall. The reason to why he was so perfect in performing was thanks to self-discipline. Unlike the others, Jesse believed that if you couldn't nail the moves and the notes within a week...you're better off working in a fast food restaurant with crushed dreams. Frustration just loved him to bits, though. It would tear at his head and leave him unfocused any second it got. So far, it was doing a brilliant job.

In order to keep everything away and allow him to remain content, Jesse decided to go to a small musical library that he usually managed to get most of his sheet music from. It was somewhat run down, but customers that often bought from the cafe beside the place usually decided to take a look at the varieties of music. Jesse may have been the most well known in the shop because of so many weekly visits. He considered the place like his sanctuary.

The bell above the door chimed in welcome to Jesse's arrival, it was near dead in the place and the piano there was no longer in use. Perfect. He edged further into the store in silence, browsing through the song books and compositions from many artists. What would chill his nerves the best? He was interested in a few Michael Buble songs, but was never the man for Michael's genre of music.

Jesse flipped a random song book in his hands and shrugged his shoulders before walking over to the piano to begin to play. Although, his thoughts got sidetracked when he collided into another body. A few murmured apologizes were shared until the victim turned to face Jesse in order to recieve a name of any sort. It didn't seem like names needed to be exchanged any longer when Jesse found his eyes locked on to a set of blue hues.

"Kurt, fancy seeing you he-"

"Save it, St. James."

Those words shot out in a cold tone, leaving Jesse there to just smirk in amusement. Kurt moved out of Jesse's way and past the piano. Jesse merely trailed after the tenor with the song book pressed to his chest. "As much as I'd love to be quiet, I can't help but notice you're just as frustrated as I am," Jesse read Kurt like a book at times. He could tell by the way his pupils dilated and his hesitation that he wanted to detest Jesse, but didn't have the actual nerve to do it. Deep down, he couldn't bare to look at Jesse long enough to fall for him all over again.

"What's there to be frustrated about? I dislike you immensely, you're just some egoist that doesn't know the difference between confidence and boasting," Kurt shot back, turned around to face Jesse whom had already been leaning on the end of the piano. The song book set out between them.

Jesse quirked a brow at this statement and chuckled under his breath. His hands clasped together as he cleared his throat to reply. "Just admit that everything you're saying now and have been saying is a lie. Everything can go back to normal by then," he suggested with a small nod of a gesture.

Kurt's ears heated up at this. He could be so worked up when it came to Jesse and almost made him wish he could spit venom at his cocky behavior. "Admit what?" he voice slightly broke. Their gazes locked was getting to be too much to handle. He knew that Jesse would probably never return the feelings he gave. Jesse just wanted Kurt to stroke his ego then throw him to the curb like everyone else except Rachel.

"Admit that you hurt me. That you lied about your feelings just so I could give myself away to you? You want me to admit that all this time, I've been envious of Rachel and I just want to be the one that solely gets your attention. But obviously you're nothing more than a cheap prick who does things for his own satisfaction. It disgusts me how I could find at least something in you that I actually liked enough to let go of Blaine because I thought some how we would have a chance! Is that what you want, Jesse? To admit my defeat and that you broke me piece to piece. I'm nothing more than just a game to you!

"So you can go back to Rachel with your victory, and laugh about how pathetic I must sound. Mark my word, Jesse, one day you'll be alone and cold! They say ignorance is bliss, but your the perfect example as to why that saying is wrong. I loved you with all of my heart, but all we are now is nothing but a white blank page with no beginning or ending," Kurt swallowed back a sob. With nothing more to say or do except let the words sink in, Kurt jogged over to his messenger bag to snatch up and exit the shop.

Only a few weeks ago had he sang a song for Jesse to express his every emotion to him. Now here Kurt was, with red tinted cheeks that tears bathed on. His fingers dug into the strap of his bag, not daring to look back. He said what he wanted to say, now it was all up to Jesse on what to do.

Author's Note: Now your probably wondering how this could all work out to follow the series. It really doesn't and I apologize for that, but this is in fact slightly AU. It hardly skims over the actual plot line in the series. Thanks for reading! Reviews and favorites are appreciated!


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